The Saving Throw
Most Embarrassing Gaming Moments Jan. 12, 2006
These are the gaming moments that only the good sports will share. These. . .are moments of shame.

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A Smelly Beast
featured on Jan. 12, 2006 contributed by MidnightDemon

On the very first day of my very first game of Dungeons and Dragons, I created my worst enemy and my most intriguing friend; Valanthe, my elven paladin. With an intelligence score of 9, it is not presumptuous to say she was below average. Together with my curiosity and a sadistic DM, it created a brew of chaos.

In this adventure, we had recently stumbled across a strange book in which the pages were blank. After asking around, we found that a certain special magician in a lighthouse to the east might be able to help us, though for a price. Due to countless battles with bandits on the way, we arrived quite late. The magician did not answer and my party and I grew increasingly concerned. Together, we busted the door down to find the room empty. The table was upturned, books were scattered about, and small amounts of dried blood stained the floor. With the door locked from the inside. I thpought they must've gotten out some other way. I told the others to look for a hidden door and to check the bathroom. We soon found a trapdoor leading to the basement, concealed under a small carpet. Being my curious self, I went down to investigate the odd smell while my partners waited outside. Something cold swiftly brushed my arm. Instinctively, in the pitch black, I took a ready stance and wildly swung my sickle at the dark thing that loomed in front of me. I attacked with a natural twenty (rolling 20 on a 1d20) and my blade sank deep into it, making a tearing metal sound, followed by a trickling. Suddenly, the intolerable smell hit me a thousand times stronger than before.

"What the hell is that thing?" I raged. "What kind of a monster is this?!"

"That," the DM pointed flatly, "is the septic tank."

I wish I could say that I learned from this experience, but my curiosity needed to be fed and luck did not follow me anywhere. So a word of caution to all: not all things need investigating.

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