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President Shinra folded his hands together; again, studded with rings, his fingers looked fat and fleshy and diseased, like the rest of him, like the city that he ruled with an iron fist. After a year without the president's presence in peaceful Nibelheim, Vincent was unprepared to the sheer power and disease and decay that the president reeked of, and again wished that he could leave.
But this was his yearly report to the President; he had no choice but to be in the room that smelled of cigar smoke, tasting the fright of the quiet attendant that always stood silent and watchful near President Shinra; the girl was the same he saw a year ago. He wondered if the girl ever stopped smelling like that.
Had it been already a year that he had been with the scientists in Nibelheim? He had forgotten. It hadn't seemed like that at all. But-it had. So he had been with Lucrezia for that long. So he had.
"So, they found Jenova," Shinra said finally after Vincent recited everything he remembered, and everything he had not; the president was merciless in his questioning. "Thatˇis good." He gave Vincent a penetrating look, seemingly reading things that Vincent had not told them. "And how are the scientists themselves?"
"Hojo has dropped his project with mako and is concentrating on Jenova," Vincent said shortly, not wishing to talk about the man. "So has Gast and Lucrezia."
"Good," Shinra rumbled. "Very good."
But what was good, he did not say.
He shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun as he squinted down, measuring the gap between him and the ground, and decided to leap. The chill air buffeted at him; only autumn, and it was already cold, tasting of snow. So he jumped, off the exit of the plane to the hard ground below, relishing the crisp day that it was.
Perversely enough, Vincent was glad he was back at Nibelheim, and he smiled briefly, remembering his first thoughts on entering what he thought was a provincial backwater area. This town was very special for him, though.
He checked his watch, and realized he was back a couple of hours early. That was fine by him. He could go and get himself something to eat, and perhaps surprise Hojo, which would be something he knew he'd enjoy. One of the few things I enjoy, at least, he thought, shrugging mentally. And I could buy something for Lucrezia. The last thought ran through his mind like a hot flash, like the feeling of pain pressed down too hard.
He gave curt orders to the pilot to leave, and watched it with shaded eyes as the huge bulk of a machine slowly turned and rolled its way toward the takeoff platform. Satisfied, he turned around and walked toward the town, busily brushing the dust off his coat and hoisting his travel bag over his shoulder. In a few minutes, he would be entering the town.
The sound of voices caught his ear; he recognized them easily, of course. He could never forget the sound of Lucrezia's voice-
Or of Hojo's.
Shock-beyond shock-
a fire that can never be quenched--
what is true and what is not
when will the false lie become reality--
when will truth-appearˇ?
His travel bag dropped from nerveless fingers as he ran toward the town, his sight blinded by something hot and wet--he couldn't possibly be crying, could he?--to the source of the voices. The name Hojo rang in his head, repeatedly, like echoing bells that followed each other in mocking replay. But Lucrezia--
He knew-something was wrong-he was sure of it-
It can't be happening, he thought, fear overcoming cold reason, and a feeling that very close to despair already. Though he had no reason to be afraid, didn't he? I'm hearing things, right? Right?
It can't be happening. I know it can't.
He skidded to a stop within twenty feet of the entrance, shock stilling his steps and nerves at the sight that lay before him. Neither of them noticed him, and he, like the fool he was, was glad that they didn't. Because--
--because--
He saw Lucrezia smiling, her dark eyes expressing a feeling he knew he never saw when she looked at him. If he had been just a bystander, he would have said that the woman was almost painfully happy. There was a desperate regret in her eyes, a hate directed at the self, but that was masked by the painful happiness that marked her. "I--" Lucrezia started, holding her left hand as if it pained her. "I--" She could say nothing. A ring sparkled in the faint sunlight--and Vincent forgot to breathe, despair ruining his soul.
Hojo stood beside her, his face expressionless. At that moment, he saw Vincent, and the expressionless face changed, into a faint, mocking smile. So you saw, Hojo seemed to say, his eyes bright with malice. It does not matter for me, because I won. You lost, Turk.
You lost.
Because Lucrezia's engaged to me.
He was in his room now, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. He wasn't sure of anything anymore, because in that moment, his entire world was shattered. He wasn't even sure if Lucrezia had seen him then, when he stood, staring at the pair, before running away blindly, like a person who had lost everything in one moment.
But he did lose everything, didn't he?
I love her, he thought, turning over to his side, squeezing his eyes shut, breathing deep, ragged sighs. I love her--
Didn't I? What did I sacrifice? Myself? Or did she sacrifice me?
He curled up into a fetal position, his arms over his head, wishing that everything would change to normal again-please, let everything be a dream--because, he wasn't sure what to do anymore. I don't know what to do--
It was like the murky, silent streets of Midgar--things that happened, and things that could have happened, all that he wouldn't and couldn't know, because he had been a fool. He had been one all his life.
He turned over again, and wished he could die.
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