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Hello, is Anyone There? May 15, 2006

Josh - 8:19 EST

I...uh...swear that absolutely none of these letters were written to me, by me. Um...

*hides*

Ah well, should get back to normal soon. Read on!




L E T T E R S
Adam Sessler is an idiot. I repeat...


Dear Ouro,

How was E3? I sat around and watched G4TechTV, which covered the whole show!

Josh

I didn't go! I got to sit at home and watch G4, which is the best channel ever! They know so much about the gaming industry, it's insane! In fact, why are you here? You should be watching G4TechTV! Here, let me help you...

Rufus, Lord of all that is Good and Decent

What? What are you saying? G4 is nothing but a bunch of toolbags talking about videogames while believing that they are the wittiest people on the planet! You can literally see the hands controlling their movements! Everyone on that channel is soulLESS. Completely soulless. They give gamers a bad name, honestly.

I see the light, thank you, my friend. You're right, of course. Did you know they actually called Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria "Slimeria?" With the sign right next to their heads. Sigh...you can't teach stupid, I suppose.



You know, that's a good question...


Hey Ouro,

Why don't people send you mail?

Josh

Well, there are probably a couple reasons that could cause the lack of mail for my column...

I usually delete emails that aren't from females asking for my phone number, so if you've sent me mail that has been lacking that crucial information, I apologize, but you brought it on yourselves, seriously. :P

It also might be because I'm from the United States...after such a long time with this column being overrun by Canadians, the transition might be somewhat awkward. It's ok, readers, I understand. If it helps, I could start putting more 'u's into my words. Armour, colour, etc. Would that do it?

Lastly, I just might not be loved. I don't know why, I'm a total sweetheart...I don't make fun of ANYONE in my colu...hm. Ok, maybe...maybe just a bit. A smidgen, if you will. Sigh...



Help!


Ouro~

Where are all of my editorials I'm supposed to be getting about E3?

~Angel

Josh

I've got 'em all, right...here.

*smack* FACE!

Oh no, you got burned. Hahahahahaha!

Seriously though, come on people, help Eds out! There was so much stuff going on during E3 that you guys should be able to produce tons of work regarding what you thought! Here, how about...writing about why on Earth anyone would purchase a PS3? What do you think of the Wiimote's performance? Is that PR guy from Nintendo able to sit down with that stick in his ass? Tell Angel what you think!



Stay in your own column!!


Hey, Q&A nemesis!

I won't be able to obtain a PlayStation 3, because I'd need to put half of my possessions up for sale and/or take out multiple loans. Besides, why would I pump $660 Cdn + tax into a system that's liable to break down in the first six months in the first place? That said, what do you think of Sony's burglarous ways? They stole Nintendo's rumbling idea, and now they miraculously came up with motion-sensing controllers for their next console's release. How original!

I guess my question would be... with Final Fantasy XIII looking more like a action/shooter than an RPG, is there any reason at all to invest in such a spectacularly overpriced piece of junk? Also, can you find any reason at all to scrounge up respect for Sony as a corporation? Based on that company's actions, I'm quickly losing all of my drive to support them in any way.

Thanks!
The weekday Q&A host.

Josh

We meet again...Now, the Q has become the A, and the A has become the Q...or something. I don't really know where I'm going with this, I guess.

I have absolutely no idea what to think about FFXIII. It definitely looks like it's not going to follow any formula that S-E has used so far (yet still seem to WORK...sigh...), so the...jury's still out on it. S-E hasn't had too much success with branching out past the RPG/TRPG/ARPG genres, so I'm inclined to be wary of its upcoming foray into the FF series.

Sony has definitely taken the easy way out with the PS3. That motion sensing technology was a big slap in the face to Nintendo, but in all honesty, this is the FIRST instance of videogaming technology that Sony hasn't stolen AND improved upon. The PSX controller, essentially the SNES controller but definitely more comfortable, and the Dual Shock is arguably (and in my opinion) the most comfortable controller on the market. They also started with the whole Dual Analog thing, after the N64 came out with their (albeit really crappy) analog controller. They even took the concept of the Rumble Pak and internalized it rather than making it an extra item.

So really, the fact that they stole the idea doesn't really bother me. In that regard, it's all up to how the companies make their games to use those features to their full potential. However, the price tag...good lord. $600 is WAY too much to spend on a home console (I just bought and built a computer for $706, too), especially since Sony does have a pretty bad record as far as reliability is concerned. The Wii and the Xbox360 have a huge advantage in pricing, because price is definitely one of the major factors in purchasing a system.

Pros: Sony does have a huge (HUGE) 3rd-party base, and they are also known for making quality games. Despite their systems' shortcomings, their games and 3rd-party games have been top-notch. Also, the games do look pretty. :)

Cons: System reliability, and pricing. They need to drop that price as soon as possible, or they just won't sell as many units as they want to.

There, now get back to work! You have a public to appease!





C L O S I N G
IN CONCLUSION:

Well, pickins were slim, but I managed. When in doubt, harass the staff, right? Anyway, Matt will be back tomorrow, fresh from E3! Be sure to ask him all you want!

You may also see a brand new addition to SOCK...if you're lucky.


ourobolus@rpgamer.com
***Josh hasn't moved all day.


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