Matt Demers - 12:20 EST

I DID IT! Ahahahahaha...and now you are all DOOMED to suffer the wrath of a double dose of Canadian goodness every week. Take that, world!

I spent much of the weekend agonizing over my first assignments for my two irritating grad-level courses, and quickly decided that while I like one of them, I despise the other. Such abstract, useless drivel is not worth my time, and since I'm not a very happy person when I think about the course, I think I'm going to drop it. What's the point? Well, I should have extra time to spend bringing you some Q&A that might be best described as fan-tabulous (Yes, I have my priorities straight.)

Of course, that depends entirely on you reader-people. As Andrew has asked VERY politely throughout the past few episodes, it would be wise for you to send! I will cry if I ever go to write a column and find nothing at all to write about in the box... and you wouldn't (shouldn't?) want the newbie host to cry! And now, let us now turn our attention to some letters.

Dear Matt, As of late I have been rehashing my Final Fantasy 7 days. After searching for new and exciting things to do, I painstakingly made sure to setup 7777 hps on all 3 characters b4 laughing manically for 10 minutes as emerald weapon took the beating of his life. Are there places for people like me?

Matt Of course there are. In my all-inclusive world, we accept all people, however bizarre, odd, peculiar, or otherwise strange... so you're welcome to come and frolic therein. Really though, you're not alone in your crazed ways... many other people have felt such an urge as well, and some of those have acted upon it. Why not? It's fun.

Lastly I just got off a year and a half Ragnarok Online fix do you have any drugs that can ease the pain?

Sincerely,
Patiently Pondering in Pittsburgh

Drugs are bad. My miracle panacea is Gysahl Greens, but you might have to go to a specialty supermarket to find some (and at some cost), unless you want to find some method of synthesizing them from your current Final Fantasy VII replayings.

If not, consult the Doctor's Book of Home Remedies; it's good for everything from bee stings to rugburn, and it may just have something for your withdrawal pains. Until then, keep alliterating... I like your name.

Disclaimer: Matt is not affiliated with Prevention Magazine or their affiliated Health Books

Hi Matt, congratulations on winning the contest! Although at first I was rooting solely for Bucket, during the last two weeks you also became a favorite, so I'm happy it was down to you too, and I look forward to reading your columns.

Anyway, I came back from Paris this week, during my visit I went to Disnyland Paris (formerly known as EuroDisney). As I was taking the train there, I immediately began humming the Golden Saucer theme in my head. Weird.

Matt Ha. I have something to say, but I don't want to say it yet, because the rest of your letter makes me smile lots; however, I had to insert this obligatory letter-splitting interjection anyway, in order to make this column more readable. Long e-mails are great, because you can set up this nice conversational style without much effort at all. OK, let's get on with the rest of it. Oh, and welcome back- Paris is a fun city, from what I remember of it.

I also realized that theme parks are probably as close to real-life RPGs as we're going to get. First, there's music everywhere you go. Second, the setting is sometimes fantastic/futuristic. Third, you get to play puzzles sometime. Just add a huge sword and a license to slice Disney characters in half and you're done!

Now for a question. Do you ever feel like life would be much cooler if you could add a soundtrack to it? There are some moments when you think "this'd be much cooler if this-and-that played in the background". At least I get that feeling sometime. Do you? And what kind of music would you prefer then?

Zohar Gilboa

I suppose so, especially if there are fun houses full of wacky mirrors and spinning floors. The problem is that there is a major lack of oversized weaponry, magic (with cool animations), and enemies that want to cause some random Game Over screen to enshroud you forevermore. That, and save points... oh, what I would do if there were save points in real life (mwahaha)!

Also, Zohar, you have no idea. I ALWAYS have a soundtrack playing, but it's "on headphones." I can't count how many final exams I have travelled to feeling extra-jittery, while having some final villain's battle theme playing at 150 dB inside my mind, making the jitteriness even worse. Interestingly, I have discussed this exact thing with other math-RPGamers at U of Guelph very recently, as a matter of fact, and as a result, your e-mail kind of creeps me out.

*insert the "Insecurity" theme from Xenosaga Ep.I*
"Who... ARE you? Can it... really be?"

Oh yeah, and the first day I walked onto campus in my first year of university, I had Balamb Garden's theme on loop in my head. I could very easily provide more examples, but I think my message is clear enough already: there's always a good musical-something to have playing at just about any given time.

What a good question! I feel inspired.

So anyways, I am thinking about getting a used Nintendo DS, which brings me to this question: Have you ever bought a used system, and if so, did it ever give you any grief or trouble? Would you recommend a used system, or is it better to buy new? And with the money I save, what game should I buy first? (Please do not mention Lunar. I am still trying to shake off the trauma from Lunar Legend.)

Oh, by the way, there’s a Kingdom Hearts manga out in English. This has been a public service provided by someone who is cautiously avoiding Kingdom Hearts.

Really! Many people have discovered joy from Kingdom Hearts... not me, personally, but many people. I'd say "Don't whack it before you try it", except that I forget if that's how the expression actually goes. You might enjoy it.

I came to this same dilemma, anyway, when I bought my own Nintendo DS a couple of months ago. I had never purchased a used system of any sort, and I was quite unsure when I was prompted with the question "Would you like to save $40 and buy a used system?"

Now, I'm sure that most of the time (and perhaps almost ALL the time), there would be no problem. I just didn't want my new toy to come "infected" with somebody else's touch, especially with such sensitive and scratch-prone parts present as a touch screen. It's worth the extra bucks, in my opinion, if you can shell them out. If not, though, I would say "don't panic", because there wouldn't be a market for preplayed things if they all came in poor condition or disrepair.

I've heard varying things about a game that JUST hit the stores, called Lost in Blue... apparently you play survivor on some distant island or something as a pair of youthful kiddies. I'm personally looking forward to Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, because I love those games more than I should, perhaps. The DS will also play GBA games, as you well know, so you could also look towards this Final Fantasy IV remake in a couple of months, if you're willing to donate to Square Enix's ongoing recycling fund.

I hope that helps you out some!

Now that Square-Enix has acquired Taito, is there any chance of that new Langrisser III remake coming to the states? Please?

-JW

Unfortunately, there is no word on this, as far as I've been able to discover. I'm pretty sure, though, that the Japanese version was just released in the past week or so, if you're itching to import- though your question would seem to indicate otherwise.

I hope I haven't ruined your day! There's always hope, after all... keep watching for news updates-- you never know what could unfold (still waiting on FFIII info...)

P.S. In reference to Andrew's answer yesterday, I actually bought Chrono Cross a year after it's release on recommendation of my roommate who thinks it's the best thing since, well, Chrono Trigger. I was somewhat disappointed though, but then I think Chrono Trigger is as overhyped as FF7.

Matt ZING! Nice double-punch there, but you're going to offend the plethora of Final Fantasy VII writers-in of the day (there have been many, haven't there?) ...as well as the endless hordes of Chrono Trigger fanatics that flood this website with traffic. Be forewarned... I could have my first letter-war brewing!

So yeah, there's questions for your first day. Now lay on the baked goods.

-- WildDrac

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It could be all of the resurgent Martha Stewart programming on TV these days, but my domestic side has caused me to start the COOKIE O' THE UPDATE mini-section. Caution: Don't actually try to make any of these "recipes" unless I explicitly say so.

Oh, and thanks for the letter.^^

Brrhrrhrr, that's one down and x to go.

But WAIT! There's still more. I totally forgot to plug Dragon Quest VIII's demo in the intro, because I sat and played it in wonderment and awe for a lengthy length of time the other day, and am fully convinced that it is going to be the game to end all games. GET IT NOW, or regret not doing so.

Here, at the end, is where I introduce the next new element of der column. It is an amazing challenge; a spectacular test; an enthralling competition involving a convex combination of both wit and luck alike. It is the

Question #2, my friends, is where one of my darkest secrets lie in RPGaming!
Which of the following games has Matt NOT actually completed? (20 points)

a) Final Fantasy VI
b) Final Fantasy VII
c) Final Fantasy X
d) Chrono Trigger
e) Chrono Cross

The shocking truth will be revealed in tomorrow's column, so make sure you read and discover!

Otherwise, it's about time I wrapped this lengthy baby up. For tomorrow, write in and tell me what RPG elements you would love to see in real life! Background music would be fun, as we have discussed, but what else?? Also, what games are you ashamed to admit that you've never played, but would like to? How about that DQ8 Demo? There's lots to talk about, so write in; maybe, just maybe, you'll see your Q A-ed.

***Matt spent too much on a seafood dinner this evening! But it was worth it...

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What to stick in this little spot? *places a gold star*