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Andrew Long - February 29 '04- 12:06 Eastern Standard Time

IT WOULD APPEAR THAT my beautiful surplus will outlast this weekend, dragging into the next with terrible heelsiness. By terrible I of course mean wonderful; I like to have extra letters, so by no means am I complaining. Speaking of complaints, why must Master and Commander be up for an Oscar tonight? I mean, maybe if one of the overwrought drama, the pre-Darwin Darwinian doctor, the "French" ship that was actually American but got changed for whatever reason ( I can't possibly guess), or the whole "I'll see you again!" foreshadowing were all that hampered it, I wouldn't mind so much, but a two-star movie just shouldn't be considered top five.

For my money, Lost in Translation should get the nod, and that's only because none of the other four really warrant that kind of honour. On the downside, I don't have a vote as of yet, so I'm afraid today's column will be further truncated as I embark upon a guerllla mission to destroy Hollywood, and possibly take over the entire west coast if I have enough gas left in the ol' 83 Rabbit. Since it's a fuel-efficient little puppy, I'm sure I can at least take a couple of cities that nobody cares about, right?

Well, I still get to do the column.




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35-19-9-3
Legs a breakin'
Boring game
Someone get a match
I'll burn
The whole damned
lot

Live from Holland


Hello dear Andrew!

My name is Joost Meulemeesters I come from Holland and I'm 13 years old.

I searched everywhere for getting info about final-fantasy crystal-cronicles. and all I saw were bad reviews! and the only reason was, that the multiplayer is probably better! everybody was saying that it is probably a bad game because you have to buy extra gba's. What I think of those people: BULLSHIT!!! what I think of your answers: EXELENT!!!

well the game isn't even here and people are going to say bad things about it!

my question is: Is the single-player cool? (because I think it's VERY cool)

ANDREW
I liked it, because you don't have to carry around that dratted drop collector thing. You get a little pet moogle to do it for you instead.

and: some people are saying that the game is only fun for 8 hours! also BULLSHIT I think. On the site is standing that there are over 200 items! well it must take some time to find them all .. so my second question is:

is the replay value good? How long does the game keep you busy?

ANDREW
That I can't tell you, since I've only played about 60% of the way through. I will tell you that Zack hasn't updated Points of View in forever because of it, though, so that's probably a fairly good indication that the fun doesn't wear off.

and the last question: what do you think is the multiplayer that much better than the single-player??? or is the sigle-player also VERY COOL? please,please,please e-mail me back for the answer because I'm planning to buy the game.

greetings,

Joost

ANDREW
Well, I will say that it's definitely a lot of fun playing with a friend, because there's just something about launching power attacks at the same time. There can be troubles with carrying the drop holder, though. Anyhow, the game is about $10 CDN cheaper than most GC titles, so yeah, you probably can't go wrong with it.


His two cents


Hey Cast,

Since you wanted some questions I could only come up with 2...

One of wich is quite useless cause I wanted to know if the PAL version of Final Fantasy X-2 will feature some of the Last Mission stuff, but since your next post will be Friday, the same day it will be in stores I'm gonna find out for myself.

ANDREW
...Carry on <.< >.>

The second question is about Square-Enix, a couple of days ago RPGFan reported that S-E registerd a new title in the US, Samurai Legends, whats your thought about that? I think its most likely going to feature some Samurai or something, and that it has its share of Legends, but thats about all I can think about it, and that its safe to say that there will be swordsn or other sharp thingiejs...

Mighty_RaZieL

ANDREW
You truly are a master of deduction, my friend. As to the trademark, Square Enix registers a whole lot of those. You may recall a little trademark under the name of "Chrono Break" that stirred up some interest a while ago? Well, I'm not saying that Samurai Legends, if that IS its real name, will follow down the same flowery path to oblivion, but I also wouldn't hold my breath waiting for an announcement; after all, the company has FFXV under trademark too.


50 points to Shroudie!


Castohina,

newt a peg czar than deer diet ale

Other than craziness involving anagrams, the ninth circle of hell has been opened...under the white house!! Anyways, as to "NES RPGs", I only had but one rpg on this system. LoZ2: The Adventures of Link. Although it wasn't the greatest, it dragged me into the everlasting void that is role-playing games. Being the ever elusive public figure that I am, I have the quotes for our black stock market dealings. Our company is growing evar-steadily and pretty soon we'll be rolling around in illegal orangutangs from Mars. See? Didn't I tell you that human flesh was going to sell good? On to our other "legal" doings, word on the street is, "someone set us up the bomb". This can only mean one thing, of course, we must fly away on a magical pony to find the golden peacock of immortality.

The soup is thickening,

O' Shrouded One

ANDREW
Ah, you have done this old Canadian stereotype real good, eh? Zelda 2 is my own favorite. As to your anagram, well, that's certainly better than I expected, since that string really was just random gibberish. I think I'll pass on the magical pony ride, though... Something about that sounds a little too dangerous, even if there is some sort of golden immortality at the end of the road.


Yay, three dentists can't be wrong! Well, they COULD be dentists!


I have played a decent amount of RPG for the NES. My brothers and I have the Dragon Warrior series. We had Final Fantasy, but my favorite of all time was Zelda 2: The Adventure of link. That is simply the only game in the Zelda series that can be classified as an RPG. I always like the side scroll fighting. A lot more strategy than just blowing up guys, shooting arrows, throwing the boomerang. Another favorite would be Dragon Warrior IV with those chapters. My brother and I once tried to race through Chapter two to see who would finish first. Don't quite remember who won, but since I was the youngest, I had more free time. One disadvantage I had during the NES days was that I was 1-7 ans when I had it. In 1992 we got our Super Nintendo and the NES was not our primary console anymore. Even so, I built my RPG skills by watching my brothers, rooting for him as my brother ventures to beat the Dragonlord, Hargon, Baramos, Necrosaro, Chaos, and Gannondorf. So, I am still in RPG because of those early years and my skills has developed from those years.

Hobbes Lionheart
"When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if its not a good idea."
~Hermes from Futurama

ANDREW
A fine choice, and a fine quote. I hope, however, that Ganondorf refers to the Super Nintendo games, cuz everyone knows his real name is Ganon, and he's a giant pig who goes "wonk wonk wonk wonk wonk!" instead of this dude with red hair that likes to look shady. Seriously, how did "wark" ever displace "wonk" as the gibberish sound of choice among gamers? Wonk has so much more style, and with today's increasingly obese youth, more social relevance!


We call him...the Evil One.. don't let him fool you


Now that you're feeling better, oh one-of-great-evil, I suppose I can start my endless harassment again. At any rate, games that were awesome and became suck? I can think of no greater example of that phenomenon than the light blasted horror that is Chrono Cross. It has an awesome soundtrack - and in my opinion the best graphics of any game on the PSX - but the pacing, character development, and plot all suck major @$$, as they say in the newbie-1337 world. Another game that kinda had that effect on me is Ocarina of Time... I know; I'm cruisin' for a bruisin' and hankerin' to lose my Official Nintendo Fanboy badge, but for some reason I thoroughly detest the very idea of playing that game again.

ANDREW
That's okay... I'm playing through it, consider myself a Nintendo fanboy, and still can't bear the thought of finishing it. It's been a year and counting, and I'm only on my way to the third dungeon!

As to the NES issue, I would have to say that I have a quirky fondness for Dragon Warrior III. It is entirely possible, however, that that is because it's the first RPG I played where I was aware I was playing an RPG. Swords & Serpents is also quite awesome (speaking of which, we need to cover that...).

~ ASV

ANDREW
Swords and Serpents, eh? Never heard of it, so I'm afraid your votes will have to be disqualified, making Zelda II the current unanimous favorite! Muah.


Ah, nuts...All that evil for nothing


Hey 'drew!

I would have to say that Final Fantasy was my favorite NES RPG. At the time I never really liked RPGs, but a friend forced me to play it one day. I was totally addicted. Since then, I've been playing just about any (good) RPGs I can get ahold of. I can't really say what it was about FF that hooked me (maybe Sqaure casts some kind of magic spell on their games...i dunno). I remember trying to play other RPGs before that like Dragon Quest and Wizardy. I hated them and swore never to play a RPG again. Maybe it was the choice of different classes for my party of adventureers. Maybe it was the opening sequence -- which isn't much compared to today's games. Maybe it was the story, the music and the battle system. Or could it be that this Final Fantasy was just way better than any RPG at the time. (Don't hate 'cause I didn't like Dragon Warrior...sheesh!)

I could go on, but laziness prhobits further rambling.

~Elric

ANDREW
It's okay, I won't throttle you, despite my own attachment to Dragon Warrior. It's funny though - my dad actually found out about Final Fantasy before I did, cuz he stole my NP and read through it before I had a chance to, and then mentioned it to me one day. From that point on, I drooled with anticipation, only to lose the use of my NES for almost a year due to um... sibling conflict gone horribly horribly awry. Anyhow, I never did get to play it until I was 11, and I didn't manage to beat it until a few years ago, because FFIV sort of blew it out of the water, in my 12-year old estimation. So Dragon Warrior, which I played to death, stole much of my artistic inspiration from, and generally adored, was my traditional RPG of choice. I still like Link better though.


Dragon Warrior wins the square


::Emerges with a big shiny stick. For squirrels::

Hoy! Castomella!

Pour hot soup in Homestar's eyes, eh, Steven? Oh, wait... the topic is "Old NES games that 0wnz0r j00r h34rt". I think. My l33t is a little rusty.

I still own all four Dragon Warrior games released for the NES. They were my favorite RPG series, even ahead of the original Final Fantasy. Yees, I still enjoy the occasional playthrough of DW4, though I REALLY wish they had brought over the PS1 remake... Mara in 3D! W00T!

Sorry, Navi... I lost control...

Yeah, my fave party at the end was Hero, Ragnar, Alena, Cristo. The problem with the offensive magic users was that the AI was too stupid to cast any. I'd shout at the screen for a half hour,"Brey, you spoony geezer, cast Blizzard already! No, don't attack, DON'T... Oh, that's great, 13 damage. Necrosaro's pissing in his boots now...." You've had that happen, right?

ANDREW
Well, as shameful as this is to admit, I've never played DW4... so no.

As for overrated crap, I submit Majora's Mask. I just finished Ocarina of Time for the first time a few weeks back, and now I start its sequel. BIG problem, the time limit thing. And the fact that to save it, you have to give up all your rupees, potions, stray faeries, ammo, etc. It's really annoying, especially when you have to use the Song of Time mid-labrynth.

Ah, I've said too much. Anyhow, Majora's Mask isn't even an RPG by any standards, so why complain? Oh, and just one question: You ever play the old-school Dragon Warriors? If not, you missed out on some good times...

NeoCarbuncle
Putting Deku princesses in bottles since, um, yesterday.

ANDREW
I have played the oldest of old school Dragon Warriors, but for some reason, I never did manage to get my hands on the next three. I still harbour intentions of playing them through some day, but for the time being, they remain a gaping hole in my repertoire.


Unfit for Print


hello how to play this game with windows xp any help appreciated

ANDREW
(This game = Might & Magic VII) Well, I would imagine you take your disc, install it, and then play. If that doesn't work, then the game is probably incompatible without a patch, and since 3DO went belly up a while back, you might just be out of luck. Just to offer you a faint ray of hope, I think UbiSoft may have acquired the rights to Might and Magic, so they could conceivably have archived content at their site, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Anyhow, if you're going to send a letter, please mention its topic in the actual body of the email rather than the subject and please try to use intelligible english.

YOU 'DREW
QUICKIE I
I mistakenly sent this to Goog, so I hope he doesn't double print it...

The riddle I posed two days ago is simple.
On your screen,
round at sea,
stained by faith,
shopped for free.

The answer is, of course, a window. Windows on your computer, round portholes on ships, stained glass windows in churches, and window shopping. Give yourself a tilde if you got it.

But of course, no one did.

- Feep "Riddles are a lost art"

Andrew:
Crumbs. Crumbs Greeley, probably not, but crumbs nonetheless, since the second I read that answer I knew I'd seen this riddle somewhere. Oh, well. Clever work, my friend.

QUICKIE II
Hey, I was wondering if you can import things from rpg maker 2k into rpg maker 2k3 I mean things like character sets, music, sound effects etc., I already have an extensive collection of these things and I was curious if I'd have to start all over again.

Thanks for your time.

Andrew:
Well, much as I hate to cop out, I'm going to have to plead ignorance on this particular score. Anyone else know? That's what I'm here for. Well, okay, I'm here to answer the question, but I don't know everything, much as I like to pretend.

QUICKIE I
Hi My Quesgin Is Where Did Choccobos Originate From??

Thank You, (insert rainbowlicious email sig reading "Bratz")

Andrew:
Well, I'm sure Square would probably try to spin something out of whole cloth about how its art department had divine inspiration one day, but in reality, they stole them source-direct from Nausicaa. I hope that doesn't shatter any illusions.



DA LAST GRUMBLE

So anyway, I'm one step closer to total PSX RPG ownership, having located a copy of Vandal Hearts at, of all places, EB. I also picked up Lufia, and I'm struck by how totally the game ripped off Golden Sun, from its battle theme to its mechanics to its freaking interface art. So the topic for next week will be games that remind you of other games, and good imitation and poor imitation. For instance, I think Legend of Dragoon is a pretty obvious attempt to rip off FFVII, and it was a pretty miserable job. On the other hand, FFX ripped off a number of elements from Grandia II, and still managed to come out pretty good in the bargain. We shall discuss on Friday. For now, let me rejoice at having actually finished a weekend, and remind you to send me letters. As always, may all your troubles be creamsicle-related.

castomel@hotmail.com
Andrew Long has a picture of a creamsicle sent by Shroudie, but is too lazy to photoshop it into usefulness.

GOOGLE WILL PROVIDE THE ANSWERS, YOU PROVIDE THE

QUESTIONS


And not only is it a creamsicle, it's a 5 cent creamsicle! Now that's value!



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