I can’t say how much time passed since our talk in the cafeteria. I’m not one who keeps good track of time, but if I were to make a guess, it’d have to be a month. Yes, that seems correct. Well, let us just say that a month has passed. It makes it a little easier to put everything in perspective. My name is Fujin Kazeno, and I have something to say.

I am one who knows the pain of being different from other people. In almost every sense of the word, I am not a usual person. Physically, there are few people in the world that look like me; socially, I’m practically a hermit; verbally, I’m threatening; emotionally, I’m curt; mentally, I’m too sharp for my own good; spiritually, I’m turbulent; perpetually, I am my Self.

I have been born with a slightly rare disorder called albinism, which was but one of many contributions for my isolation from the rest of the world. There are some cultures that say that fair skin is a sign of beauty, but I’m not living in any of them. I’m obviously not an outdoorsy-type person (I usually have to carry an umbrella around so I don’t get skin cancer from the sun), and I’m not exactly the epitome of loveliness. Silvery hair and ruby eyes are far from normality here, and what pains me the most is that I cannot help it.

Sometime during puberty, I suffered from skin cancer in one of my eyes, and it had to be operated on to save the rest of me. I can no longer use this eye, and unless I am careful, I may very well go blind in both. To walk around with a terrible scar over one’s eye socket would mean more pain and rejection than I could handle, so that’s where the patch came in. In all honesty, I’m really just a normal girl who lives with (I refuse to say “suffers from”) albinism. There’s nothing special about me, really.

I had been ridiculed for my physical appearance all my life, or at least my childhood. Both my parents were dark-skinned (which is where Raijin comes in), and they tried raising me as best they could despite the difference of our skin pigmentation. I had thought that this world had civilized itself beyond the outer appearance of people, or at least their color; that shows how much I had to learn.

Since I was ridiculed so much, I decided to compensate for my “disadvantages” by shaping other parts of my Self. Of my body I trained into physical near-perfection, and of my shy voice I increased dramatically. I learned how to use the Razor Pinwheel, and I became exceptionally skilled with wind-related magic. I continually toned and exercised my body to the point of fanaticism, and I still do even to this day.

I’m getting somewhere with this, so don’t ask if there’s a point. I hate rude people.

One day, I was treated well. This… came as an unexpected surprise. Outside of the posse, nobody had given me much of a smile, or said kind words to me, or apologized for any wrongdoings. Nobody had shown me compassion, or love, or care, and they certainly didn’t bother to seek my opinion on different matters. Then one day, this new student comes into the Garden, and already makes an impression on everybody by getting himself thrown in detention for a crime he was innocent of.

It was I who guided him into the “prison”, and it was I who had to guide him back out. Because I had just “arrested” an innocent man, and subsequently had to take said man back to his room, the embarrassment and pain I felt was being multiplied by the hour. Can you imagine the suffering I went through, sitting in that room as people laughed at me? And can you imagine the guilt I felt as I guided this poor young man around? I wanted to punish myself for being so stupid and zealous, but could only scowl, mutter, and curse the whole way.

And wouldn’t you believe it, but this poor young man thought it was all his fault. He even apologized to me, and I guess I sunk pretty low when all I did was give him the cold shoulder. Here he was, being so noble that he was apologizing for a crime he did not commit, and all I could do was listen and stare at him. He stormed off after all efforts failed, understandably angry, and left me standing there in the hallway.

I had to make it up to him. As casually and as harmlessly as I knew how, I went and bought a light snack and joined him in the cafeteria, since it was lunchtime. I have almost no experience with friendliness, or even being with other people, so I guess my eating habits got on his nerves. He looked pretty scared, if you asked me, and I desperately wanted to kick myself. I had so much to learn--stupid, stupid, stupid!!

When we introduced ourselves, though, things started rolling along magnificently. We ended up apologizing to each other, and quickly disposed of all confusion and bitterness that would have festered on for eternity had it been left unchecked. I guess we became friends in that period of time, though our social call was interrupted by the posse and an all-too-efficient bell. I bade this young man farewell, and told him that I would like talking with him again. He said the same.

A month has passed since then. I apologize for droning on, but one would be surprised by how much is actually on my mind. I’m not a talker, and if I do speak, I probably do more harm than good. Only a few people can genuinely understand my brief rhetoric. But on pen and paper, I can say volumes, for here there is no one to judge me, no one to criticize me, and no one to recognize me. I can be… my Self. I can be Fujin here.

A month passed. That is the basic idea that I tried to convey. One month passed.

In the month that passed, the young man and I became, I guess you could say, Best Acquaintances. If there is such thing as Best Friends, then there should be such thing as Best Acquaintances. If this were so, then we fit into that description perfectly. We were borderline friends; it would only take a tiny push to move us into the next level. That said, we spent every single lunch hour together, sometimes by ourselves and other times with the posse. Nida and I (that was the young man’s name) would talk endlessly on anything that crossed our minds, and sometimes, we didn’t talk at all.

When you spend a whole month of lunchtimes sitting with a person and talking to them, you get to know them pretty well. I learned that Nida was very much like my friend Seifer: they were both hopeless romantics (not in the “love” sense--more like the “knights in shining armor” sense), and they each had a fantastic dream of one day becoming something great. Aside from physical appearance, their only real difference was that Nida was a thinker, and Seifer a fighter.

I say a month passed since our first conversation because we finally decided to be friends after a month. We had been talking on one uneventful day (not exactly a month later, but you get the idea), and from out of nowhere, Nida asked if we could be friends. I had almost nobody with that title, other than Seifer (Raijin didn’t count), and so I happily accepted. Then the real surprise came.

“I, uh… I wanted to give you a gift,” he muttered shyly. I smiled as best I could (remember, I’ve been an outcast for most of my life, so I rarely had a reason to smile), and asked him why.

“Well… I just wanted to give you something!” he said. That sounded fair enough. I’m not a stupid woman (usually); I know better than to ask for a man’s reason to buy gifts. Some girls would think that there was something suspicious going on if a man bought them a gift for no reason, and oftentimes there is not. Those are one-sided relationships, in my opinion, where the man loves without reason and the woman questions without logic.

“WHAT?” I asked him. Nida paused briefly, and admitted to not knowing what I would like to receive. Unfortunately, almost every conceivable gift out there would have suggested more than friendship, but he was a smart man--he could figure his way out of a predicament like that. Nida told me that he had not bought me something--he had brought me something, out of his own possessions. He was giving me something that belonged to him.

“I thought you’d like a book,” he said, and he was right. “And since I don’t know what you like to read, I just pulled out my favorite. Here.” Reaching into his book bag, he pulled out an old and worn-out copy of a novel I had heard about before, but never bothered to read. With gentle fingers, I took the copy from his hands, flipped through the pages, and breathed in the musty smell. The words Don Quixote were on the front and side.

“This book here is where I get all my crazy notions about love and chivalry,” he said proudly. “The main character is this guy named Don Quixote, who thinks he’s a knight. He goes on all kinds of crazy adventures with his squire Sancho, and almost always gets into trouble. It’s pretty funny, in a satirical way.” I smiled lightly as I looked at the book, and promised myself to read a little bit of it every day. With my smile growing a little, I thanked him for his heartfelt gift, and wished that I had something to give him as well.

Wait--I did!!

Quickly, before the bell could separate us, I shoved my hand into a small purse-like bag and pulled out another book, one that I owned. I gave it to him, and let my smile be my explanation. Nida’s eyes glowed as he beheld the title: L’Morte d’Artur.

“Fujin… this is… wow, this is too much…!” I smiled, glad to see my new friend happy, and wished him good day as the bell sounded. Nida asked me the same, and we both left with our “new” books in hand. Funny; we had both given the other a book on knights and chivalry and magic and heroes, somehow knowing that the other would like it. It doesn’t seem that way at first, but like Seifer (which was where the book actually came from; he gave it to me for my most recent birthday), I was a sucker for adventurous romances.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I tried reading in my new book, and got as far as the tenth page before feeling drowsy, but the second I marked my spot and put it away, my eye flipped open. There was no way I could fall asleep, not even if I took a pill (which I never would), so I resolved to go out and build up a sweat. Midnight training activities had become a staple of my days; I had haunted the training ground so many times that I knew its design better than the architects that built it.

I was so restless that I decided to go for an all-out exercise program, and dressed accordingly. My usual attire of blue jacket-vest and black leggings would restrain myself in the intensity of my program, so I shed all these off and chose to walk to the training room in my underclothes only. I am definitely not one to flaunt my body, no matter how much Seifer says it’s attractive, so even my undergarments were conservative.

I am but one of three people who are legally entitled to be out after curfew, the other two being Seifer and Raijin. Because we are part of the disciplinary committee, it is our duty to make sure there are no students outside after hours, so it was perfectly okay for me to be wandering the Garden at such a late hour. Headmaster Cid might’ve had something to say if he learned I was walking around in sports bra and boxers, though…

As I arrived at the training room, I inhaled the sharp, pungent scent of a jungle mixed in with the blood and bones of thousands of defeated monsters--and a few students. I had no trouble twisting my body through the mess of trees and shrubbery; though gnarled and twisted like a dense forest, I was so nimble and light that I could have snuck through it all without brushing up against anything. This was the idea all along.

I began to sprint as fast as I could, letting the soles of my bare feet just barely brush up against the grass and concrete. I was an incredible runner, and about as agile as an expert gymnast, so this barely counted as a warm-up. Next I leaped up to grab the branch of a tree, and swung on it like an ape as I moved across the canopy. I would perform these difficult moves first, then would probably move on to see if there were any creatures I could finish off.

I eventually spotted another person in there with me as I swung across the treetops. He had been working out a little himself, though it was clear he wasn’t nearly as limber as I. He spotted me leap around the trees, and though I didn’t recognize him at first, his voice and his wave were clues enough.

“Hey! Fujin, is that you?” It was Nida. I smiled smugly, then leaped down to his level so we could have a more civilized conversation (speaking with a scantily-clad woman hanging by the branch of a tree isn’t my idea of cordiality). He blushed slightly as he tried not to look at my body, and I regarded his presence with a small snort.

“SHOULDN’T BE HERE,” I warned him. “PAST CURFEW.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” he assured me. “I have special permission. My instructor left to pick up some things he forgot, so I’ve been here by myself for awhile. I guess you decided to work out as well?” I slowly nodded my head, still unsure if his story was real or not. I had not known Nida long, but I knew for a fact that he was honest and sincere, so I guess I ended up believing him.

“Well, uh…” He stuttered and rubbed his neck, trying to get something out. “…Well… since you’re here… would you, uh, like to join me for awhile? I mean, not like a date or anything!”

“DATE FINE,” I assured him blankly. I really didn’t mind, and from the look of his face, neither did he.

“Really? Well, great! Erm… uh…” He stammered again, and I tilted my head in confusion as I wondered what he wanted. Was he really that uncomfortable, seeing me wearing only the necessities?

“CLOTHES?” I asked, pointing to my lack thereof. He blushed again and smiled.

“Uh, I guess I don’t mind… I mean, uh, well, I, uh…” I let out a smirk, crossed my arms, and nearly chuckled. Suddenly, I stepped forward and gave him a push, sending him tumbling to the ground in a dusty heap. After complaining about the minor pain, and dusting himself off, he wondered what had possessed me to do that.

“LET GUARD DOWN,” I told him with that same smirk. “DANGEROUS. TRY AGAIN?” He paused to consider my words, then his face brightened as he realized what I had said.

“OH, oh, right! Right! Uhh, yeah, let’s… uhh, try that again!” He smiled and stood in a defensive position, and I couldn’t help but smile back. Darn it--I was starting to like him! Ah, well… I sighed to myself. If he keeps on treating me right, I just might go on another date with him! He’s not unattractive, and he’s really nice and sincere, and he sure knows how to treat someone that’s so very much like himself…

I lunged at him again, and this time he was prepared. He leaped off to the side, but my speed was considerable, and the second he landed, I swept at his feet and sent him tumbling again. Well, I considered, he’s not quite as strong or as fast as I am, but then again, I’ve been keeping in shape for the past eight or so years.

“TOO SLOW,” I said as I knelt down to help him up. Nida grumbled something and took my hand, but suddenly flipped me to the ground and pinned me to the floor before I even knew what happened! What the--?!

“You left your guard down,” he said with a victorious smile. I snarled at him for a brief second--but the irony of the situation was too much for me, and I let out a hearty laugh. I can’t remember the last time I really laughed, and I don’t know if I ever meant it, so this sound was strange to me. I continued to laugh at the situation, though, and he smiled down at me and began laughing too. His face turned pink as he suddenly realized that he still had me pinned to the floor, and with a gentlemanly apology, he released me from my bind. I noted with open amusement that he didn’t bother to help me up. This man might have been weak, but he wasn’t stupid.

We continued to spar for the next fifteen minutes. Nida was hardly a challenge in the physical department, but when it came to strategy, he could beat me every time. Nida was a man who learned from every mistake he made, and then would never make it again. It was true that he made lots of mistakes--after all, I’m a considerable fighter--but he learned from every one of them, and was prepared when I made the same move again. Darn it, he was good!

After twenty minutes had passed in all, both of us had worked up quite a sweat, though he was much more drenched than I. We had both learned something that day, and not just in the ways of fighting. Smiling warmly, Nida reached out to take my hand, and I gladly shook his. I didn’t really know it at the time, but I had found a kindred spirit in that humid training room.

“Good workout!” said he, pumping my hand. “Though I never did figure out what happened to my instructor. Oh well, guess I’ll figure it out tomorrow. Oh, speaking of which, I’d better get to bed soon. My first class starts at seven in the morning! Yuck!!” He stuck out his tongue in disgust, and I chuckled again. Noticing my smile, he placed his hand on my bare shoulder and asked about it.

“You have a really great laugh, Fujin,” he said. “You should really laugh more. I had a crummy day today, and until I heard you laughing that first time, I thought I was gonna be miserable for the rest of the week. But you’ve really made my day.” My eye flew open in surprise, and my face became slightly colored as he expressed his feelings. I made your day? My laugh alone brightened up your entire week? No! Nonsense! Rubbish!

“TRUTH?” I asked. He smiled and nodded his head.

“Of course! I feel so much better! You really should laugh more, Fujin! This life’s too cruel to stay in a bad mood forever. Go on, laugh! Give me your loudest, proudest, most powerful laugh! Come on!” My face became furiously flushed as he made his demands. I had no real reason to oblige, despite the fact that he was amusing me.

And then, to my own surprise, I obeyed his request, and threw my head back in a mostly-faux laughter. I really let loose then, and probably made myself look like an absolute nut. But… I was also shocked at how powerful and warm my laughter sounded. I really was not accustomed to a raucous outburst, but as I let loose, I found myself liking it more and more. Curses! What was this young man doing to me?!

“…Wow,” he whispered after I caught my breath. I had worked up more of a sweat from laughing than I did working out; I even amazed myself. “Fujin… that was… well, I don’t wanna sound too overzealous, but that was magnificent! I was right! You have a terrific laughter!”

“EMBARRASSED,” I muttered. “TOO LOUD.”

“…Well, yes,” he said meekly, “you were a little loud. But hey, that’s all right. Sometimes, you gotta let yourself go.” I faced him in all my sweaty and breathless glory, peering at him questionably.

“YOUR LAUGHTER?” I asked. He shrugged.

“I guess I’m just like you. I never really have laughed out loud like that before. It’s a little late now, but I swear I’ll give it a try tomorrow night. Hey, speaking of which, would you like to… uh… well, to… uh…”

“YES?” I wondered, raising an eyebrow. My wry smile had returned, and I was even slinking over towards him, like a cat. He stuttered some more, and twiddled his fingers before speaking. Poor guy.

“…Well… I was wondering… if, ahh… You’d… like to, uh… go… on, uhh… uhhh, a real date??” He paused, his face bashfully fixed to the floor, and I couldn’t help but smile. Curse me, but I was starting to like him a lot more. But… I had reasons to. He was… everything I had been lacking up until now… Considerate, kind, honest, caring, sweet (well…), smart… Sure he was imperfect, but if I wanted to have a perfect friend, I’d be the loneliest person in the world. Besides, I had my own imperfections, and if Nida could accept me for what I was, then who was I to not do the same to him?!

“LOVE TO,” I replied with a nod. His face lit up, and he smiled the most enormous smile I had ever seen, ever. It was a little too big, but I guess it was to even out my oversized laughter. Besides, I liked his smile for some reason. I guess, deep down inside, I like seeing people happy.

But don’t you dare tell anyone else!!!

I awoke to the sound of somebody knocking on my door, and let a curse whisper out as I glared at the clock in my room. It read 6:42.

“FOOL,” I muttered to myself. Groaning out in misery, I rubbed my eye and wondered what kind of nut would wake me up at such an ungodly hour. Suddenly, as my vision got better and the blurriness became clear, I inhaled sharply as it looked at my clock again. It read 6:42 p.m.! I had been asleep all day!!

Groaning out even more, and not just over the fact that I had slept in my sweaty undergarments, I managed to put on a robe and open the door. I was not in the best of moods at the time.

“WHAT?” I grumbled to the offending knocker--and my disposition lightened slightly as I saw Nida standing before me. I offered him a mute apology for my rude behavior and he shrugged it off like the good friend he was.

“Fujin, where were you today?!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” I let out an exasperated sigh as I remembered what time of day it had been when I finally woke up, and grumbled out--wait a second! Did I just hear him right??

“WHAT?” I asked him.

“I said I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Fujin!” he repeated. “I missed you today! You haven’t been in here all this time, have you??” I groaned again, letting a deep breath out as I considered what he said. Did he just say that he missed me? That he had been looking for me all day?? That…! I…! Impossible! I…

“TRUTH?” I asked. “MISS ME?”

“Well, yeah,” he said with a nod. “Me, Seifer, and Raijin couldn’t find you!” I froze momentarily, one hand clutching the hem of my robe and the other gently covering my heart. Can it be true? Did somebody (besides the posse) actually care whether I lived or not? Did somebody worry over me? Did somebody--did Nida--really miss me? This was… I couldn’t… This was just too fantastic to believe!

“…APOLOGY,” I managed, then conjured up a lie to excuse my absence. “FELT SICK. SLEPT ALL DAY.” I expected him to be a little sympathetic, but what he did took me off guard completely.

“…Oh, I’m sorry. That’s really bad. You didn’t look sick last night. Must’ve been something a mosquito passed onto you. Well, you should probably go on down to Dr. K’s and have it looked at, just in case.”

Wow. Amazing. He cared. For the love of all things good and sacred, he cared about me. And I could not help the smile that came to my mouth.

“THANKS,” I said.

“For what?”

“CARING.” I broadened my smile, and he returned it with a little uncertainty.

“…Well, I’m concerned about you, Fujin. You’re one of the few friends I actually have here, so I might as well treat you special. Oh, by the way, I completely forgot to tell you why I came over here in the first place!” He paused for the sake of suspense, and let me guess at what the news was. How he expected me to know was a mystery; I was still absorbed over what he had told me earlier.

“YES?”

“I passed the SeeD written test!” he exclaimed with zest. “I’m gonna be a candidate for SeeD! And who knows?! I just might be able to fulfill my dream after all!” I smiled at his enthusiasm, and for the first time in many years, I was tempted to hug somebody. I ignored this thought, but kept my smile to show him that I was not apathetic.

“WONDERFUL,” I said. “SEIFER QUALIFIED TOO. WILL CHEER FOR YOU BOTH.” He smiled, and I think it was at that point where we drew a little closer. I can’t be certain. It seemed like such a long time ago.

“Thanks. I’m gonna need all the help I can get. Well, I’m gonna go study, then I’ll hit the training room. I wanna be as prepared as possible before the exam, y’know?” I understood him perfectly well, and clasped his hand for good luck. He left with a smile and a wave, and told me to take care of myself.

The very second he was away, I let out a sigh. The depth of his caring for me was quite unfathomable, and I do believe that at that moment, I was starting to love him.

Oh, and you can quote me on that.