Natalie found herself staring at the ceiling of her room again very early the next morning. The few questions she'd scratched onto a somewhat trail-worn piece of paper the previous night were the last things on her mind as they sat forgotten on the table across the room. Instead, Natalie desperately tried to design the best way to persuade Vincent Valentine out of his coffin.
All these years... I can't just let that slip away. Can I? Natalie covered her face with her hands as she released a deep sigh. It was his life; therefore, it was his choice. That choice had been given. Now Natalie had to wait, and that was what she hated.
Natalie dropped her hands to her sides with another sigh. Then she sat up and dressed, moving from her room without even looking at the list of questions for the interview. She retraced her steps from inn to Mansion to basement without a thought. Then she opened the door of Vincent's sanctuary, closing it very slowly and very softly as she rested her forehead against it. She didn't notice a slight shift of the coffin lid.
Natalie released a very deep breath before turning to lean against the door of the room. She crossed her arms as she examined the black box he called home. "I can't believe I'm having a romantic interlude with a coffin," she mumbled. Natalie shook her head. She'd always been accused of being a little on the odd side. But a coffin? Natalie chuckled.
"Good morning, Vincent," she greeted, and she immediately grimaced. "I know, I know. It's way too early to be down here." She stepped forward, clasping her hands behind her back. "I told you I like it down here. It's quiet and reminds me of the places I've excavated. Places where I felt comfortable. Where I truly felt safe enough to be myself." She smiled. "I guess it's the coffin. Maybe that's why it's so easy to talk to you."
Natalie sat at the foot of the coffin, tucking her knees to her chin. "I just needed some quiet time before the people start moving around town. That and I've been stressing about the interview. It will help that they're your friends, but it will still involve conversations with live people. Not my favorite thing..."
Natalie cleared her throat and adjusted her arms around her legs as she released a deep breath. "I really am sorry about this, Vincent. I don't want to bother you."
Silence settled over the room, but it wasn't an uncomfortable stillness. It was simple and innocent, and it settled Natalie's nervousness.
Natalie dropped her gaze as she began to rock back and forth. "I used to do this all the time when I was a regular at top-secret archeological digs." She released a slow breath as her memories resurfaced. "The Cetra burial rooms were so simple and lovely. A person could tell that great care had gone to the arrangement and design of every facet of the tomb. The crypts were so full of detail that it was impossible not to see these people were gifted in every way. They knew where they would go when they passed out of this existence, and they chose to celebrate the going."
Natalie smiled. "Let me know if I start running off at the mouth. Talking about archaeology always gets me going. It's a passion I usually don't share with anyone. I mean, I guess it sounds a bit odd to be so enthralled with an extinct race. Telling someone that I would find myself at the tomb several times a day sounds a bit over the deep end. At least, that's what I assume from the looks I get. But I couldn't help just gazing at the creativity within those Cetra tombs and temples. It inspired me to stretch out and delve deeper into what interested me. Their passion seemed to influence those in direct contact with them."
Natalie looked up at the coffin. "They were such an interesting people. You could tell by the work they left behind. It's gorgeous. Not only that, it's so... calming. I felt safe in those tombs, so I would talk for hours on whatever bothered me. That time helped me make decisions I otherwise wouldn't have been able to make. They helped me simply by being there. I guess that's why I'm here now."
That and I want to spend as much time here as possible because I doubt you'll come out.
Natalie cleared her throat. "I really miss those days of being able to talk about whatever came to mind. Lately I've been so busy researching Hojo's experiments that I've been keeping things inside. It's been a little stressful. Thanks for being here for me to talk to. I know you haven't exactly had a choice in the matter, but I wanted to thank you anyway."
She looked down with a sigh. "I suppose I should go. I've still got a lot of work to do to get ready for the interviews. I've heard from Barret, Cid, and Nanaki, but no one else. At least, not yet." She stood and made her way to the door, giving another glance toward the coffin before closing the door with a slow, deep breath and a whispered, "I'll see you later."
Natalie made her way out of the Mansion, slowly meandering toward the inn on the far side of Nibelheim.
"Excuse me? Are you Natalie Long?"
Natalie looked up from her intense scrutiny of her hiking boots. A somewhat tall woman with a tone physique and long brunette hair approached. The woman's buxom figure made Natalie self-conscious about her own more slender structure. Oh well. Natalie reached out to accept the woman's outstretched hand. "I am. What can I do for you?"
"I'm Tifa Lockhart. I got a message you wanted to do some sort of interview."
Natalie's face brightened. "Oh! Yes. Come with me. I have a room at the inn where we can be comfortable and get all this stuff out of the way. Have you eaten?"
"Yes. Thanks." Tifa fell into step beside Natalie. "What kind of interview?"
"Regarding the planet. You and the others have done some incredible work, and I wanted to start marking the progress."
"That would be more Red or Barret's department. Have you gotten an interview set up with them?"
"Barret, yes. Last evening, in fact. But Red?" Natalie frowned. "I don't know. The name doesn't sound familiar."
"He's a... err... Well, he looks a lot like a... um... His grandfather was one of the Elders in Cosmo Canyon. Bugenhagen."
"Oh! Nanaki." Natalie nodded as she opened the door of the inn to usher Tifa inside. "Yes. He's coming tomorrow afternoon. So are Barret and Cid."
"Man. You've got the whole gang coming."
"Not really. I couldn't get a hold of Yuffie or Reeve. I haven't heard anything from Cloud, either."
Tifa flushed. "Cloud's coming to Nibelheim later this week, if you don't mind waiting. He just had to pack up some of his stuff that was at Aeris'. I don't know where Yuffie went. I suppose you already checked Wutai."
Natalie led Tifa upstairs to her room. "Yes. No one seems to know where she is. That's all right, though. I'll likely have enough information from the others." Natalie gestured to the table set up in the middle of the room. "Make yourself comfortable." She retrieved her pen and paper - computers being banned until an environmentally safe power source could be found - and made a few notes on the page. "I appreciate this, Ms. Lockhart."
She laughed. "Call me Tifa."
Natalie smiled back at her. "Thank you. I will."
And Natalie was amazed at how comfortable she was talking with this stranger. I wonder if Vincent felt the same? It was definitely an interesting question. One that she wished she could ask. Natalie cleared her throat and tapped her pen on the paper, fighting the urge to both think of and ask about Vincent. Nat, you better focus or the interview is going to be a disaster.
"All right. Now, could you maybe outline exactly what you and the others have planned to bring the planet back to normal."
Tifa leaned her forearms on the table. "Like I said before, Red's the big planner. We just do what he and Barret tell us to."
I wonder how involved Vincent is or was-- Natalie pushed the thoughts away with an almost visible motion. "Could you give me some examples?"
"Examples? You mean of what they tell us to do?"
Natalie gave a nod, still grappling with her focus. "Exactly."
"Well..." Tifa cupped her chin in her hand as she slightly frowned. "Let's see. They told us to gather all the Materia we'd been using and put it in the Lifestream for one."
Vincent had spent so much time around Materia because of his time with Shinra; he probably hated to see it go-- Natalie frowned a little as she nodded her head and jotted some stuff on the paper. "Go on."
"Then we gathered a bunch of seedlings from the church where Aeris lived and planted them in the most fertile areas around Midgar."
I wonder if Vincent helped with any of the flowers? No, probably not. He doesn't seem the gardener type... Natalie sighed, setting down her pen to rub her forehead.
"What's wrong?"
Natalie shook her head as she leaned back in the chair, focusing her eyes on Tifa's concerned expression. "I'm sorry. It seems I'm not ready to do this right now."
"I can come back with the others. It is kind of early."
Tifa made a move to stand, but Natalie stopped her. "Wait. Can I ask you a question about someone?"
"Sure."
"It's about Vincent."
Tifa raised an eyebrow. "Vincent? What about him?"
"You know he's in the basement of Shinra Mansion. Right?"
"I figured that's where he went. After all, that's where we found him." Natalie didn't say anything, and Tifa tilted her head. "He's alright, isn't he?"
"That's what I had hoped you could tell me." Natalie picked at a fingernail. "Has he always been hidden away like that? Does he never come out?"
"Well, he felt responsible for a lot of things, and sleeping in the coffin was his way of punishing himself. When we asked for his help, he only did it because it was another way to make things right. I don't understand why he still feels like he has to punish himself. Hojo was the one responsible. Of course, we never did understand Vincent. He stayed so quiet about his personal life."
Natalie lowered her eyes. "I noticed."
Tifa stood, smoothing some imaginary wrinkles from her tight jeans. "Did you want to do this tomorrow, or when Red and Cid get here?"
"I suppose we should wait until the others arrive. That would be easiest." Natalie sent Tifa a small smile. "I appreciate it."
"Don't worry about it. I'll see you later." And Tifa left the room.
Natalie stood and made her way to the window that looked out on the well in the center of Nibelheim. Snap out of it, Nat. This isn't like you at all. Come on! Pull yourself together! She took in a slow breath and released it slower, then again, and again. That's better. Now why don't you take a moment and relax. Natalie pulled a book off the shelf from the bookcase beside the window. She made her way to her bed.
"DNA Alteration and the Jenova Project by Professor Hojo." Natalie sighed deeply, lowering herself onto the bed. "And this is to help me relax?"
Natalie sighed, slamming the book closed as she laid back. She brought an arm up to cover her eyes. You're just tired. Take a nap. She turned onto her side, wrapping her arms around herself as she let her mind fade to the dreams that would take her where she did and did not want to go...
...Natalie took in a deep breath before opening the door. She didn't look at his coffin as she entered the room. I can't. I know what he'll say. If he does... How am I going to say no? Instead, she kept her back toward the room as she closed the door. Both palms rested on the cold wood once it had clicked shut. She stood there for several moments, wanting him to come closer... wanting him to stay in the coffin... Why couldn't this have been easier? Why did it have to happen like this?
"You seem upset. What is it?" a gentle baritone voice asked.
"Nothing."
Natalie heard the rustle of the cape as he moved from where he leaned against his crypt. Oh dear God. He's coming closer. I can't. Don't, Vincent. Please-- He gently took hold of her arms to turn her to face him, lifting her chin with a finger. She held his eyes and he... smiled? Her insides went numb, and her knees weakened as a flash shot out from her soul to each and every corner of her body.
"You look lovely today."
"Th-Thank you." She continued to look up into his glowing red eyes, her firm resolution fading fast. "Vincent, we need to talk."
He raised an eyebrow. "About?"
"About us."
"Ah. Us." Vincent caressed her cheek. Natalie's throat tightened. "And what needs to be said that has such fear glowing in those lovely green eyes?"
"I can't see you anymore."
His eyes twinkled with amusement as his lips tilted in the caress of another smile. "You've said that before, and yet you always come. Why are you so afraid of me?" Vincent examined her expression with those seductive amber eyes that seemed to see everything. "I see. You're afraid of yourself."
Natalie pulled away to walk toward the coffin, her arms around her. "It just wouldn't work, Vincent. I care about you, yes, but..."
He waited a moment before prompting "But what?" as he moved closer.
Her arms tightened. "I don't know. I'm just so afraid."
Vincent caressed her neck with his finger before he brought his lips to her ear. "It's all right to be afraid."
She shook her head as she attempted to turn away again, but he held her in a firm yet tender grasp. When he turned her toward him, his expression was painfully clear in meaning. He leaned toward her to caress her lips with his.
"I've been waiting for someone," Vincent whispered. "Don't leave me."
Natalie closed her eyes with a soft whimper, wrapping her arms around his neck as the kiss deepened--
Natalie jerked to a sitting position with a choked sob, bringing her hands up to cover her face. The dream had come before, but it had never been so clear. His eyes had never been so real. His face had never been so defined and expressive. Oh, she groaned, why did you have to find him? The fantasies and dreams would have faded if you hadn't done that! Her determination had become her torturer.
Natalie sniffed, wiping the tears from her face before pushing herself off the bed. She made her way to the window, crossing her arms as she stared toward Shinra Mansion. I know it's impossible. I know it's foolish. I know it's pathetic and God knows what else, but it's happened. I've let myself get emotionally involved with a research project... She winced. Project, Nat? Don't start distancing yourself from him now. It won't change the fact you care. That's foolishness, and you know it. You're gone for him. All he would have to do is smile and you'd rip off your clothes and offer to have his baby.
Natalie lowered her head with a reluctant smile. She doubted she would ever be that ridiculous, but it felt better to laugh at herself than bawl her head off.
*
Picnics for the Soul / The Interview