This story comes from some crazy antics my friend Alex and I engaged in. For this campaign, all of the players were playing some sort of strange creature, so we could get use out of the Savage Species book that my brother had. At the time, I needed to learn a form of magic called star magic in order to stop some very nasty ancient dragons from causing untold destruction. However, due to a lack of foresight by a very powerful entity (who happened to be a previous character played by one of the other players), star magic was almost impossible to find. The only person who could teach me was a man known as the Chessmaster. After some research, I found out how to get to his castle.

With this information, three characters set out: a half-demon, played by myself; a water elemental, played by my brother’s friend Joe; and a hippogriff played by Alex. Now, the thing is, Alex was not your average hippogriff. He was much more intelligent than average, for one thing. Also, earlier we had helped a demon lord (the demons wanted to stop the dragons as much as we did), and had gotten various rewards in return. Alex had asked for, of all things, a flask of infinite anti-hangover potion and claws that induce drunkenness.

When we entered the castle, we noticed that there were many statues situated in the entrance hall. My brother, who was running the game, said that they looked almost alive. Almost immediately, the hippogriff walked over to a statue and scratched it. The statue’s expression changed. Instead of looking like a normal statue, the statue looked... drunk. Alex had actually managed to get a statue drunk.

The story does not end there. When we finally got to the Chessmaster, he gave us a test in order for me to be able to learn star magic. The test was ridiculous in its own way, but not relevant to the story. Suffice it to say that we passed. I forget what Joe got as a reward, but I got the star magic, and Alex got... neon green feathers. So now he was a neon-green hippogriff with claws that induce drunkenness. Yeah... that was a weird day.