Mathematically, if a column goes up a day early, that gives it approximately 14 percent more time as the most current column. Unfortunately, it means that last week's column receives only 86 percent the "airtime" of its predecessors. But, since time is an illusion, I don't feel especially inclined to care either way. Besides, travel plans dictate that this week's Currents goes up now or sometime next week, which collides with the column's prime directive harder then the Enterprise hit the Scimitar. Here's a question: why do I feel more remorse for the death of an android then I do for every unfortunate red shirt combined?

Jocularity aside, this week was a hopping one in the industry. The PS3 got enough smack-talk to knock a horse's face straight off, so I've combined all of it into a single slap of uparalleled magnitude. Also, in a tragic incident a woman in the states learned two very important lessons the hard way: (1) stay sharp in high school biology, and (2) never assume that anybody else remembers their high school biology. Also, beware the dangers of thaleron radiation.

To top it off, I have a piece on a myriad of legislation in the States, and a story from Germany that hits unusually close to home. Not content to let the PS3 suffer silently, it seems I'll be rubbing salt on it's wounds with some numbers that suggest that Microsoft may be on the right track with their new-fangled gamebox.

Even after last week's little PS3 slap-fest, it seems that some believe Sony hasn't recieved quite enough punishment yet. While there are some that have leaped to the PS3's defense, it seems that a large group of people are quite nearly cheering for the PS3's demise. While I fail to comprehend how Sony's hiccups with the PS3 could be of benefit to anybody except their competitors, the critisisms are generally valid, and worth examining.

So there's how this week's comments shook down.

While the PS3 may be experiencing initial sales issues, largely due to (what Stringer referred to as) "the price of admission", the console race has only just begun. Let's meet back here in a month or so and see where we're at.

In a tragic incident of console naming gone horribly awry, a punster radio station in California organized a contest where somebody could win a Nintendo Wii. The catch? You had to drink increasingly large volumes of water without urinating. The contest was called "Hold your Wee for a Wii," and it proved fatal for one of the contestants.

Jennifer Strange, mother of three, was trying to win a Wii for her kids. After she was eliminated from the contest (taking away the consolation prize, Justin Timberlake concert tickets), she returned home. She was found dead several hours later.

The coroner claimed that her death was consistent with hyponatremia, or water intoxication. While it is unknown how much water she drank, other contestants claimed that they ingested 8-oz bottles every ten minutes, and Strange drank well in excess of eight bottles. The contest went on for three hours, and the bottles of water nearly doubled in size.

During the contest, the DJ's commented about how they "should have researched this" and dismissed callers who warned the station the game was dangerous by joking that "they [the competitors] signed releases, so we're not responsible." They claimed that contestants would throw up before they suffered from any other symptoms.

On the air, Strange claimed her head was hurting, and that her stomach was bloated. She also said she was feeling lightheaded. The DJs described her as "having trouble standing" and they noted that she looked three months pregnant.

In response to Strange's death, her family has filed a lawsuit against the station. Some contestants claimed that they were not informed of the potential dangers, and many of them felt nauseated and dizzy after they were eliminated.

Homicide investigators in Sacramento have also begun an investigation after reviewing the audio of the Morning Rave show. The station said it would cooperate with the police's endeavors.

All-in-all, a tragic incident. There's now a family of five in California that's one player short of a game. Ten employees of the radio station were fired over the incident.

I get to use my Jack Thompson picture for a third straight week as more legislation slides across the desks of lawmakers across the states. Oh goody. Also, I have more rigamarole from Thompson himself as one of his pet projects is halted before it even reaches a vote. Also, the European Union takes the first steps in enacting a potential violent video game ban.

Utah
Following up from last week, the Utah bill that was proposed, scrapped, then reproposed, has been postponed. The bill, which would create a classifaction system whereby games could be labelled "obscene" and their sale to minors blocked, has been taken off the table until its sponsor, Rep. Scott Wyatt, can sort out constitutional issues with the Attourney General. The AG, Mark Shurtleff, advised Wyatt to stay his hand until an Oklahoma judge rules on a similar law. While Wyatt claims that most games would not fall under his amendments to the existing pornography bill, it doesn't take a L.L.B. to see that his amendments are frightfully vague and could be interpreted in a myriad of ways.

Thompson had a hand in drafting the original bill, and upon news of its postponement, had this to say to its sponsor:

I wish I knew what he meant when he said that the Supreme Court agrees with him. As far as I know, it's never happened.

European Union
The EU is considering a blanket control system over the sale of violent video games, backed by Germany (surprise), Britain, Greece, Finland, Spain and France. Nothing is concrete at this point, the EU plans to take a census of current national measures in place and see if it needs standardization across Europe. After a shooting in Germany last year, among other incidents, there has developed a real push to control violent video game sales to teenagers.

Spearheading the initiative is Justice Commissioner Franco Frattini, in concert with German Interior Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble and Justice Minister Brigitte Zypries. (Germany currently holds EU presidency. Oh, joy.) You may remember Frattini as "the crazy dude who got told off after whipping up media frenzy over Rule of Rose, subsequently getting it banned in the United Kingdom, largely due to misinformation."

Frattini told reporters that he will be encouraging EU states to ban violent video games, arguing that "the protection of children cannot have borders."

Germany has some of the worst luck with teen teen violence and video games; this go around, we have a double homicide by stabbing with an anti-game twist.

In the small town of Tessin, two 17-year olds are being held for charges of murder, theft, and kidnapping after a brutal home invasion on Saturday. It is alleged that the two young men stabbed a couple to death in their home before kidnapping the family's 15-year old daughter. A 16-year old boy, the son of the deceased couple, locked himself in his room and called police.

They stole the couple's car and crashed it in a field. A standoff ensured between the two suspects and police; the girl was held at knifepoint. Eventually, they surrendered and the girl was released unharmed.

While many details have yet to surface, the brutal nature of the crime coupled with the seemingly arbitrary choice of victim has shocked the 400-member community of Tessin. It didn't take long for the connection to be made: the kids played video games.

Apparently, the two went by the monikers of "Reno" and "Sephiroth", known as the antagonists from Final Fantasy VII. An emulated copy of FFVII was discovered on their computer when police began their investigation. Now, FFVII has been added to the ever-growing list of "killerspiele", or "killer games" by the media, who have gone so far as to accuse the young men of copying the murders they had seen and participated in "hundreds of times before".

The absurdity of the accusation is matched only by the brutality of the incident. I expect this will only add to the EU's push for a unified rating system, but I think the fact that the game is (a) a decade old and (b) relatively non-violent will probably confuse the issue as the popular media processes the speculation. But that's just my own speculation.

Some numbers from Microsoft are suggesting that the Xbox 360 may be poised to take the console wars to a whole new level. While the strength of the PS3 has often been described in terms of the PS2's incredible fanbase, the Xbox 360 is picking up some new followers.

Microsoft claims that 54 percent of Xbox 360 gamers did not buy an Xbox 1. In an media climate where the Wii is being lauded for picking up the non-gamer market, it is interesting to see the Xbox 360 do similar. The real question remains, though, where are they picking up fans from?

Common sense says: they're poaching PS2 fans. Mike Wolf, an analyst with ABI, said "this is one of the benefits Microsoft foresaw when they decided to launch ahead of everyone." PS2 players looking to upgrade to a next-gen system were presented with the option of the Xbox 360 a year before they could choose a PS3, which still remains largely cost-prohibitive. While there's a chance they are reaching outside the traditional "gaming" market, I wonder how many non-core gamers will jump straight into gaming with an expensive, HD-compatible console.

In many markets, however, the only new-gen competition that the Xbox 360 has is the Nintendo Wii, since the PS3 has yet to be launched in Australia and Europe.

This also provides us with another tidbit; since 24 million Xbox 1's were sold, we can extrapolate that there are still approximately 19 million Xbox gamers who have yet to upgrade. Compared to the PS2's userbase, however, these numbers shrink with fear.

Just a quick Canadian CRUNCH this week, as NPD releases their data for the Northern wastelands:

Well, a shorter column than usual this week. The road beckons.

//Casts FIRE2 on his bacon;
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