"Psychopath" List for Super Mario RPG
Compiled by cs007@angelfire.com

3/27/00:
I have finally, _finally_ updated the Psychopath list.
Thanks go to a great guy
named Steve, who informed me of several
monsters I had missed, the pursuit of
which led me to find
several more monsters I had missed, and started, with the
small
stone of a helpful e-mail two years ago, a great ripple in
the pond of
fate leading to this update, an overall improvement
hopefully beneficial to
humanity at large.

Monsters added:

A second variety of TENTACLES
CLOAKER
EARTH
LINK
SHY RANGER
OCTOLOT
PIRANHA PLANT
BOOSTER
APPRENTICE
---

After 2 weeks of
semi-continuous rental of Mario RPG, I have finally
compiled the
not-so-eagerly-awaited Psychopath list.  This list just
displays whatever
information that can be got out of a monster using
Mallow's Psychopath spell,
which is:

     a) number of HP points it has

     b) and a quote.

If you have
a compulsive need to cast Psychopath on every monster
you run across, and you
can't play the game without Mallow in your
party, this list is for you. In fact,
it was this compulsive inner
drive, and the great torment I went through because
of this sheer,
obsessed, unappeasable need, that inspired me to create this
list, for
all those others out there like me, the Mario fanatics who, though
they're endlessly disappointed by the usual asininity of the quotes
revealed by
the Psychopath spell, can't help but go back for more.
And more... and more...
over and over again.  Over and over.  Again
and again.  More, and still more. 
Sometimes even the same old
monsters.  It's a tormented existence, I know from
experience.  Those
12-hour drawls of Mario.. Mario.. Mario... my thumb shudders
even now
thinking about the double click-SNAP! that means an effective pulling
off of the Psychopath spell.  More and more I began to think of all
the others
who must be in the same dilemma, hoping, wishing, that
someone would deliver
them from their awful misery.  Then I realized
_I_ was the one to put this to a
stop, I was to deliver the world from
this odious bane of healthy social lives,
once and for all.  An angel
spoke to me... and I started upon a sacred quest,
to...

Needless to say, compiling this list has proven quite therapeutic.
So, I
beseech you.  Take this list, print it out.  Staple it to your
controller, on
the wire, maybe.  No, don't.  I wonder if this is a
good place for a disclaimer? 
Well, never mind, don't staple it to
your controller.  Don't staple it to your
forehead either, it would be
too hard to read.  But with this list, you will
never, ever, ever have
to use the Psychopath spell again, unless you feel like
it, or you're
trying not to quit cold turkey, or something.  You're free, free
at
last!  And at last a great burden of my soul has been lightened.

(By the
way, the monsters are listed in chronological order, the
probable order in which
you encounter them.  And all spelling errors
are probably Square's, maybe.  It's
accurate as far as I know.  And it
looks best in a mono-spaced font.  Send any
comments, inaccuracies,
etc. to cs007@angelfire.com.  This document can be
freely 
distributed.)

Monster                        HP     Thoughts
-----------------              -----  --------------------------------
1.  
GOOMBA                    16     "Goomba gumba... phew!"
2.   SKY TROOPA               
10     "What a gorgeous day!"
3.   SPIKEY                    20     "Just try
and jump on me!"
4.   FROGOG                    80     "This bright sunlight
better not fry
                                       me!"
5.   K-9                      
30     "May I take a BITE?"
6.   CROCO (1st battle)        320    "Gosh, I'm
good!"
7.   SHYSTER                   30     "Boing, boing, boing."
8.  
BODYGUARD                 30     "Boing, boing, boing."
9.   MACK                     
480    "Boing, boing, boing."
10.  GOBY                      40     "Blub blub
blub..."
11.  RAT FUNK                  32     "Squeek, squeek..."
12. 
HOBGOBLIN                 50     "Havin' a blast today!"
13.  SHADOW                   
85     "You're a model, right?"
14.  THE BIG BOO               43     "Stop
staring at me!"
15.  PANDORITE                 300    "I'm trying to sleep, OK?"
16.  BELOME (1st battle)       500    "I just... wanna sleep."
17.  STARSLAP                 
62     "They think I'm goofy..."
18.  ARACHNE                   82     "[musical
note] Day-o..."
19.  SHY GUY                   78     "Hold still, okay?!"
20. 
SNAPDRAGON                90     "I did a lot in my youth."
21.  CROOK                    
30     "You can't run away! Ha!"
22.  WIGGLER                   120    "I'm just
a helpless wiggler..."
23.  BUZZER                    43     "Buzzzzz..."
24. 
OCTOLOT                   99     "Check out my legs!"
25.  GUERRILLA                
135    "Don't confuse me with someone
                                      
else!"
26.  AMANITA                   52     "Gotta work on my tan!"
27.  BOWYER                   
720    "What's with these folks?"
28.  PIRANHA PLANT             168    "Pretty
boring nowadays."
29.  SHY RANGER                300    "Transmitting
information.
                                       Over and out."
30.  MAGMITE                  
26     "Got a thorn in my foot."
31.  CLUSTER                   60     "I'll
psyche you out!"
32.  SPARKY                    120    "Fire EVERYWHERE!"
33. 
BOB-OMB                   90     "Ouch, HEY!  Watch it!"
34.  CROCO (2nd battle)       
750    "Ooh! I'm good!"
35.  PUNCHINELLO               1200   "Yeeha! I see
we're already famous!"
36.  MICROBOMB                 30     "Small is as small
does."
37.  MEZZO BOMB                150    "Look out!"
38.  CARROBOSCIS              
90     "I ALWAYS eat my vegetables!"
39.  SPIKESTER                 50     "Why,
you're AFRAID of me!"
40.  LAKITU                    124    "Why do people hate
me?"
41.  ARTICHOKER                200    "Relax a little, okay?"
42.  SNIFIT                   
200    "Minimum wage for THIS?!"
43.  SPOOKUM                   98     "Que
pasa?"
44.  ORB USER                  8      "I hate Kinklinks!"
45.  REMO CON                 
88     "The world is history."
46.  JESTER                    151    "I've
failed my King..."
47.  ROB-OMB                   42     "Disappear?  Maybe
later!"
48.  BLASTER                   120    "Wanna join me?"
49.  FIREBALL                 
10     "Blurb blurb blurb..."
50.  CHOMP                     100    "Workin' on
a chain gang."
51.  BOOSTER                   800    "This is like realizing
                                      
you're outside without
                                       your clothes on!"
52.  KNIFE GUY                 700    "Happiness is hip!"
53.  GRATE GUY                
900    "Peace is just a dream."
54.  APPRENTICE                120    "I've had
ENOUGH."
55.  TORTE                     100    "Cake! Vatch zee CAKE."
56. 
BUNDT                     800    "Congratulations."
57.  RASPBERRY                
500    "Congratulations!"
58.  GECKO                     92     "Red? What about
Green?"
59.  MASTADOOM                 180    "Phew, I'm FREEZING..."
60. 
PULSAR                    69     "I'm a mini-pulsar."
61.  MUKUMUKU                 
108    "Ya trying to bug me?!"
62.  SACKIT                    152    "This is
just how I am."
63.  ZEOSTAR                   90     "Oh, I can't stand him!"
64.  BLOOBER                   130    "I love floating around."
65.  GREAPER                  
148    "Any reaping to be done?"
66.  STRAW HEAD                131    "Gotta
press this shirt!"
67.  REACHER                   184    "Hope you'll stay
close."
68.  DRY BONES                 0      "I'm sick of gettin' hit!"
69. 
GORGON                    140    "I just wanna go home."
70.  ALLEY RAT                
105    "Don't pity me, Mario!"
71.  TENTACLES (obtuse<)       200    "You
wouldn't... EAT me?!"
72.  TENTACLES  (acute<)       260    "Keep me in cool!"
73.  KING CALAMARI             800    "The ship's MINE!  SCRAM!"
74.  HIDON                    
600    "You wanna run, huh?!"
75.  GOOMBETTE                 100    "Me speak
soft, BIG STICK!"
76.  MR*KIPPER                 133    "I'm a fresh little
fish."
77.  CRUSTY                    80     "Look at THIS!"
78.  BANDANA RED              
120    "I love the color RED!"
79.  BANDANA BLUE              150    "Color me
Blue, mates!!"
80.  JOHNNY                    820    "Whoa! It's all over."
81. 
LEUKO                     220    "Floating's a bad habit."
82.  YARIDOVICH               
1500   "My promotion's at stake!"
83.  YARIDOVICH(mirage) Eq.to above's "I'm not
the real McCoy!"
84.  SHOGUN                    150    "Do as you like."
85. 
OCTOVADER                 250    "I'm a part-time typist!"
86.  CHOW                     
80     "Hey, I fought you already!"
87.  SPINTHRA                  230    "Oh!
I'm gonna poison ya!"
88.  GECKIT                    100    "Geck... Geck...
GOCK?"
89.  CHEWY                     90     "I'm just a fresh flower."
90.  SHY
AWAY                  140    "La Dee Dah~ Ha Ha."
91.  STINGER                  
65     "Strike the pose!"
92.  KRIFFID                   320    "Aloe~ there!"
93.  FORMLESS                  10     "I have a secret!"
94.  MOKURA                   
620    "Mwa ha ha..."
95.  FINK FLOWER               200    "Gimme your best
shot!"
96.  RIBBITE                   250    "My dad says, "Hello.""
97.  BELOME
(2nd battle)       1200   "Gotta yummy in my tummy!"
98.  BOWSER CLONE             
300    "Grr... my castle..."
99.  MALLOW CLONE              150    "Ma? Pa?
Where are ya?"
100. MARIO CLONE               200    "......"
101. GENO CLONE               
250    "Star Pieces... Star..."
102. TOADSTOOL 2               120    "It's
tough to be pretty!"
103. JAGGER                    600    "Oh! I'm so excited!"
104. JINX (1st battle)         600    "You're just a beginner!"
105. JINX (2nd
battle)         800    "Sympathy!? Not from me!"
106. BOX BOY                  
900    "Been waitin' 100 years!"
107. FAUTSO                    420    "Thanks
to you I'm free!"
108. CHOMP CHOMP               150    "Hey, let's PLAY!"
109.
SMILAX                    200    "Turn your eyes!"
110. MEGASMILAX               
1000   "I was a water baby!"
111. BIRDY                     150    "I HATE
Valentina."
112. HEAVY TROOPA              250    "I'll make ya beautiful!"
113.
PINWHEEL                  99     "What a day it's been..."
114. SLING GUY                
120    "Hear my song."
115. ORBISON                   30     "Don't jump on me!"
116. MUCKLE                    320    "Gotta know your limits."
117. SHAMAN                   
150    "I'm losing this fight!"
118. JAWFUL                    278    "Huh?"
119. SHELLY                    500    "Slow down!"
120. BIRDO                    
777    "I just love life!"
121. BLUEBIRD                  200    "You
are...magnificent"
122. DODO (1st battle)         800    "I'm STARVED!"
123.
DODO (2nd battle)         1000   "I'm starved...later!"
124. DODO (w/Valentina)  
HP varies   "I'm starved...later!"
125. VALENTINA                 2000   "I tell
ya, he's NOTHING!"
126. OERLIKON                  85     "I live to eat."
127.
MAGMUS                    50     "Clobber me for good life!"
128. PYROSPHERE               
167    "Vroom, VROOM!!"
129. CHAINED KONG              355    "A tad warm, isn't
it?!"
130. CORKPEDITE                200    "Off!  FORGET IT!"
131. BODY                     
300    "......"
132. VOMER                     0      "Nobody, NOBODY likes me."
133. ARMORED ANT               230    "Do one good turn a day!"
134. STUMPET                  
500    "Express yourself!"
135. CZAR DRAGON               1400   "Flamin' hot,
right at ya!"
136. HELIO                     10     "I'm burnin' up inside!"
137. ZOMBONE                   1800   "Hey!  We're not done yet!"
138. AXEM PINK                
400    "Red, WRONG POSITION!"
139. AXEM BLACK                550    "You're
timing stinks!"
140. AXEM RED                  800    "I'm all thumbs today!"
141. AXEM YELLOW               600    "We're lookin' GOOD!"
142. AXEM GREEN               
450    "Are we done here?"
143. AXEM RANGERS              999    "It's a melee!"
144. TERRA COTTA               180    "Oh, Mr.Bowser~~"
145. FORKIES                  
350    "Shikashikashika~~!"
146. GU GOOMBA                 132    "Hey, maybe I
CAN win!"
147. STAR CRUSTER              72     "I'M NOT A CRAB!!"
148.
MALAKOOPA                 95     "Just call me "General!""
149. BIG BERTHA               
350    "Adabing, ADABANG!"
150. CHESTER                   1200   "I love my
job![heart]"
151. BAHAMUTT                  500    "Give me a chance, here."
152. GLUM REAPER               180    "Comin' through..."
153. MAGIKOOPA                
1600   "That's... my child?"
154. KING BOMB                 500    "I LIVE to
explode!"
155. JINX CLONE                320    "I'm the REAL thing!"
156.
BOOMER                    2000   "It's all over now..."
157. EXOR                     
1800   "Gotta mow the lawn soon."
158. RIGHT EYE                 500    "I've
got an astigmatism!"
159. LEFT EYE                  300    "I can't see a
thing!"
160. NEOSQUID                  800    "I'm so utterly alone..."
161.
CULEX                     4096   "A little off, eh?"
162. WIND CRYSTAL             
800    "Whhhhhhooooo..."
163. EARTH CRYSTAL             3200   "I hate being
awakened!"
164. WATER CRYSTAL             1800   "Get me back underground!"
165.
FIRE CRYSTAL              2500   "I gotta vacuum tonight!"
166. AMEBOID                  
220    "Get outta my face."
167. DING-A-LING               1200   "Wake up
sleepy heads!"
168. COUNTDOWN                 2400   "We're into overtime!"
169.
MACHINE MADE (Axem Pink)  100    "Oh! My makeup!"
170. MACHINE MADE (Axem Green)
80     "Whew! Vertigo!"
171. MACHINE MADE (Axem Red)   180    "Gotta fight for
evil!"
172. MACHINE MADE (Axem Black) 120    "Will I make the team?"
173.
MACHINE MADE (Axem Yellow)200    "I'm STARVED!"
174. JABIT                    
150    "This is the pits!"
175. SPRINGER                  122    "What's going
on here?"
176. PUPPOX                    300    "What does it all MEAN?"
177.
MACHINE MADE (Bodyguard)  100    "Boing, boing, boing."
178. MACHINE MADE (Mack)      
300    "Mario! I'm BAAAAAAAACK!"
179. HIPPOPO                   400    "This is
a drag..."
180. LI'L BOO                  66     "Beep pa doodle dee![music
note]"
181. DOPPEL                    333    "This has been a bad year!"
182.
MACHINE MADE (Bowyer)     1000   "Nya! I'll SNUFF ya! NYA!"
183. NINJA                    
235    "Wooo HOOO! I'm a FOO!"
184. MACHINE MADE (Yaridovich) 800    "My
promotion's at stake!"
185. MACHINE MADE (Multiplier) 180    "Look out, LOSERS!"
186. CLOAKER                   1200   "I love cold hard steel!"
187. DOMINO                   
900    "MAGIC! DEAL with it!"
188. CLOAKER (w/Earth Link)    varies "I can't
think straight!"
189. EARTH LINK                2500   "What a royal pain!"
190.
DOMINO (w/Mad Adder)      varies "Sh... sho... shocked!"
191. MAD ADDER                
1500   "I'm alive and kicking."
192. MAD MALLET                200    "Work,
work, work..."
193. CLERK                     500    "10 years I've been here!"
194. POUNDER                   180    "Wham bam SLAM!"
195. MANAGER                  
800    "25 years of working, sigh."
196. POUNDETTE                 150    "Love
conquers ALL."
197. DIRECTOR                  1000   "I just lost EVERYTHING."
198. GUNYOLK                   1500   "If we're beaten, the boss is
                                      
alone!"
199. FACTORY CHIEF             1000   "Who DARES to fight ME?!"
200.
JINX (3rd battle)         1000   "Ooh! I'm gonna hurt ya!"
201. SMELTER                  
1500   "I brush after each meal!"
202. SMITHY                    2000   "Eh?!
Not bad!"
203. SHYPER                    400    "Ooh! This'll be fun!"
204.
SMITHY (body)             1000   "What a heavy head!"
205. SMITHY (toaster head)    
8000   "This isn't good at all!"
206. SMITHY (tank head)        8000   "Don't
shock me!  DON'T!"
207. SMITHY (wizard head)      8000   "Good magic, bad
defense."
208. SMITHY (furnace head)     8000   "Nothin' can hurt me!"
209.
SMITHY (treasurebox head) 8000   "What's hidden inside?!"