What REALLY Happened to Vicks and Wedge

Part I

A "What If..." tale by Kimberly Scott




     While it is true no one saw Vicks or Wedge in the Empire again, it also 

is unexplained whether Tritoch actually killed them or...sent them away. 

Perhaps they merely were teleported somewhere far, far, away.  For instance...




Guardia Kingdom, 1000 A.D.




     Vicks and Wedge awoke to find themselves lying on cold cobblestones, 

their Magitek suits nearby.  Instead of the cold, dry winds of Narshe, warm

evening breezes blew on their faces.  The area where they lay was full of

tents and festive banners.

     "Somehow I get the feeling we aināt in Narshe anymore,"  Vicks said.

     "Whereās the girl?"  Wedge asked.  They looked all around for her, but

she was nowhere to be found.  "Drat!  Sheās got our money!  How are we gonna 

spend a night at the Inn with no cash?"

     "Um· who says thereās an Inn here, much less people?"

     "What, you think all these decorations and paved walks and tents just

GREW outta the ground?"

     "Um· yeah," said Vicks, who obviously wasnāt dangerously smart.

     "Oh shut up, you idiot!  Come on, letās get our suits on and cause some

Magitek MAYHEM!"  They climbed into their suits.  "Heh heh!"  laughed Wedge. 

"Weāll extort enough money from these numbskulls to BUY our OWN inn!"  He

leaned forward in order to reach the ON switch.  "HA ha ha ha haaaAAAHHHHH!"  

     The Magitek suit refused to work, which meant the bulky hunk of junk

could no longer defy gravity as well as it could while it was on.  Basically,

the suit toppled over with Wedge in it.

     "Blast it!  Our suits wonāt work!  Which means weāll have to earn money

the old-fashioned way."

     Vicks moaned.  "You mean we have to work for it?"

     "No, you idiot.  Weāre gonna have to egg peopleās houses."

     Vicks instantly brightened.  "Ooh goody!  I LOVE egging peopleās houses!"

     Wedge slapped him.  "You nitwit!  I was being sarcastic!"




     The Truce Inn was hiring help in preparation for all of the visitors who

would be stopping in for the Millennial Fair.  However, by the time Vicks and

Wedge arrived, most of the jobs had been filled.  Wedge read off the job 

listings that werenāt crossed out.

     "Chef..Waitress...Maid...Good grief, this is WOMENāS work!

Well,technically, I suppose Īchefā isnāt.  But I canāt COOK!"

     "Sure you can, Wedge.  You used to do it all the time when we were in 

training."

     "I meant that cooking is BENEATH me!  Imagine!  A soldier of the Empire...

COOKING!"  Wedge was ranting to nobody, however.  Vicks had already gone 

inside.  "Please, donāt let him do anything stupid,"  he muttered as he 

stomped into the Inn.




     Wedge found Vicks up at the front counter talking to the proprietor of

the Inn.  Vicks turned around.  "Hi Wedge!" he exclaimed.  "Guess what I am?"

     "A biological mistake?" Wedge sneered.

     "No!  Iām a MAID!"

     "WHAT?!  A MAID!"

     "Yeah!  Lookit all this neat stuff!  I get my own mop and feather duster

and...prepare to be shocked and amazed..."

     "I already am," groaned Wedge.

     "(Iāll pretend I didnāt hear that) My very own APRON!  Look!  Itās even 

blue, my favorite color!"

     "Like I care.  Excuse me, sir..." Wedge now directed his attention to the

manager, "Iām interested in applying for the Īchefā position.  How much will I

be earning?  And will room and board be provided for me and my, um, 

companion?"

     "Wages will be fifty G per hour, and room and board are included.  

Anything else?"

     "What exactly will I be required to do?"  Wedge asked.

     "Ah, Iām glad you asked.  You see, you wonāt exactly be a Īchefā."

     "Then, just out of curiosity, what WILL I be doing?"

     "Youāll be washing dishes."

     "WHAT?  WASHING DISHES?  Whoād want to do a thing like that?"

     "Well, sir, now you know why we didnāt list Īdishwasherā as an available

job.  Work begins at dawn.  I suggest you get some rest now, because with the

number of guests weāre expecting I doubt youāll be getting much tomorrow."




Part II




     Around five AM the next morning a young purple-haired girl with glasses

arrived early to finish up her exhibit, the Telepod.  She saw the Magitek 

armor, which had been half-hidden by Vicks and Wedge for the unlikely event 

that it began working again, and instantly she began to examine it.  Curiosity

gave way to excitement as she carefully looked at all the parts up close.

     "All right, Lucca!" she muttered to herself.  "Now I have the parts to 

build my karaoke robot!"




     "OUT!  OUT!!"

     Wedge flew out of the door to the Inn screaming, with Vicks close behind.

The manager ran out of the door after them.  "How DARE you!" he shrieked at 

Wedge.  "Donāt you know that if a dog licks a dish bare it still isnāt clean? 

And YOU!"  The manager glared at Vicks.  "Do you have any IDEA how much it 

will cost to replace my great-great-grandmotherās antique lamp?  That was a 

priceless family heirloom!"

     "I thought it was junk," Vicks whined.

     "GET OUT OF MY FACE!"  

     Vicks and Wedge decided it was time to seek employment elsewhere.  A 

couple of well-aimed rocks helped them to reach that decision.




     "Oh, the bitter irony," Wedge moaned as they walked down the path in the 

Fairgrounds.  "In Vector the people were at our mercy, and here WEāRE at the 

PEOPLEāS mercy!  Oh well, at least we still have our Magitek equipment."

     "Um, Wedge, you might want to rethink that thought."  Vicks stared at the

scattered branches that once served to conceal their armor.

     "Now the ARMORāS gone?"  Wedge began to spit out words that are not fit 

to be repeated here.  "I demand to find out who committed this heinous deed!  HEADS WILL ROLL!"

     "Um...was that YOUR equipment that was over here?"  Lucca asked.

     "Yeah, kid...Can you tell us where it is?"  Wedge felt better since this

girl seemed to know where the Magitek armor was.

     "Aah, um, I...kinda took it apart so I could build Gato, my karaoke 

robot,"  Lucca stammered.

     "Why I oughtta..." Wedge was about to slap her when he...burst into 

tears!  "Waaah, it isnāt fair!  Me nā Vicks donāt have our Magitek stuff, we 

donāt have any money and we donāt have any jobs to GET money!  Why do these 

things always happen to US?  Waaaaaah!"

     Vicks pulled out a hankie and Wedge blew his nose.  Lucca bent over him,

her face full of sympathy.  "You need a job?  Thereās a man named Norstein 

Bekkler running the Tent of Horrors down on the first level of Leene Square.

The last time I heard he was hiring people for his show.  Maybe you can get a

job there?"

     Wedge looked up at her.  "Will it involve washing dishes or cleaning?"

     "Not to my knowledge,"  Lucca answered.

     Wedge jumped up.  "All right!  Iām beginning to feel hopeful!  I feel 

reborn!"  He ran towards the first level of Leene Square.  "I feel...

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"  

     "Like youāre in a lotta pain?" replied Vicks.

     "That was one nasty fall down the stairs," winced Lucca.




Conclusion




     After Wedge was taken to the First Aid station(just a few scratches), he

and Vicks went to see Norstein Bekkler about that job.  It turned out that 

there were exactly two spots left for humans, and if you are familiar with 

Chrono Trigger, you know the rest of this story.  If not, then play it!