Lusipurr - Half-past Michael (not Mikel) GMT

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring-ting-tingling too!
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you!

Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "Yoo-hoo!"
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you!

Now will I question your annoying and tiresome address.

I know that if someone remade my cat--and let me tell you, she is perfect just as she is--I would be most wroth. In fact, I would probably explode into a shower of pie-shaped bits. It would be a huge mess. There would be meringue--or cherries if you prefer--in every nook and cranny. Talk about a cleaning mess. Have you ever tried to get meringue--or cherries if you prefer--off of the ceiling? No sir, let me tell you, I am very against anyone remaking my cat. I like her old-school, as they say. I do not need a next-generation edition. She is brilliant just the way she is. Also, this keeps meringue--or cherries if you prefer--from soiling my sprawling and lavish estate.

Why compare apples to oranges? They are both types of fruit, to be sure, but they are totally different. For example, can you imagine eating an orange pie? It sounds filthy! Apple pie, on the other hand, is tasty and enjoyable. Especially with some vanilla ice cream and a glass of milk. Mmm. What about eating them straight off of the tree? Well, with an apple, that's easy. You just pick, shine, and eat. With an orange, you have to go through the annoying process of peeling it. Then, you have to eat the segments carefully because there are seeds in them. There's pulp all over the place and it is pretty disgusting in and of itself. Orange juice is okay, but apple juice is loads better. In fact, when you drink apple juice in quantity it makes your wee (not to be confused with your Wii) smell a little funny. And of course, what about apple crisp, apple crumble, apple turnovers, apple fritters, and baked apples, apple dumplings, and apple pastries? No one is out there trying the same thing with oranges. Why is that? Well, because oranges suck. Apples are loads better.

So do not compare apples to oranges, kiddos, because the oranges will lose every single fricking time. Because they suck.

Is it me, or is it getting a little cramped in here?

I like Lost Odyssey. I think I have said this a few times. That said, the Queen of Numarra has thighs like a clydesdale. She must be a long-time Thighmaster devotee or something. Seriously, her thighs are like tree trunks! Of course, I was not paying any attention to her thighs.

Why is March madness starting up in April? That seems to be something of a misnomer.

In the end, I have decided to just write longer columns on Fridays, rather than to have mid-week columns. This way, the columns will have better quality, and will not feel rushed. This past week I received few letters, so next Friday's column will be of average length (unless I receive a lot more letters).

I like the split-screens, Mack drew on the wall, and Seth's hair is like that because of exposure to sea air from her years as a pirate. Ming is a sleepy drunk, and the Uhran harlots were repulsive.

Have some pie.

Supposedly it is a GameStop exclusive and will be very difficult to find. It is not being very forcefully marketted, and it has been the subject of several delays.

All bad news. If you want it, you should probably pre-order.

I am beginning to feel a little claustrophobic.

Matthew and Tabitha,

Currently, it does not appear that there are any plans to release Growlanser IV in North America. The Growlanser VI situation is less clear, but we do not have any information about a North American release yet. Of course, this does not mean these games will not be released in North America. In fact, North America has often received games years after the Japanese launch. However, release in the immediate future seems unlikely.

As soon as we know more about Growlanser releases, you can be sure we will post it on the site. There are lots of Growlanser fans on our staff, and we are following the situation closely.

Thank you very much for writing in, and keep reading RPGamer!

I can hardly breathe!

Outro goes here.

Pip lup!